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This journey is incredibly humbling for me.

From being wounded and not knowing which way is up and wondering whether or not i could be ALIVE or not and at the same time, finding new MEANING in my new life in this FOREIGN place.....It's been an AMAZING journey

I am a daughter, sister, dog-owner and friend.

Currently, i am learning to train my mind and body. I want to hold my body, challenge my physical ability to a level i could never imagine.

I definitely have learn to stop letting these people who do so little for me in my life but control so much of my mind, feeling and emotions.

Learning to let them go from my life is definitely one of the best achievement i ever done to myself.

Goodbye my friends.... Hope when we meet again, we are once strangers again.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

I failed today.....

Is been long since I attended to this blog... thanks to my thesis... or should I say thanks to my incompetence... I'm lacking of time to finish my thesis on chronic low back pain...

Today....

Is really a 'shui' day for me...

I feel ashamed of myself.... the day is so 'shui' till i cried so loudly on my own.... I cried.... i cried.... i cried.... non-stop.... till the little boy next door asked her mom whether my mom beat me to death like she beat him yesterday night??????

What happened???????/

This morning i woke up early again...i need to save my time so i can read more research papers, So, i can write a good piece of thesis....

And then i went down and wash my lingerie.... and then put it outside to dry....

As usual, is already 1pm, i need more fuel, so i drove outside to buy some foods.... And within 15 minutes, i drove back home... and you know what i found??? 

MY LINGERIE IS GONE!!!!! SOMEONE BLOODY ASSHOLE STOLE MY LINGERIE!!! THOSE EXPENSIVE ONES I BOUGHT WHEN I WENT TO HATYAI DURING NEW YEAR 2009....

I was so upset till i cried in my car alone... i called my mom but she didn't pick up....

I run upstairs to my room.... stared at me messy table.... my notebook... my studies.... my half-written thesis...

Tears streaming down my cheeks.... my throat shouted sounds i didn't recognize....

I feel like the world is not fair to me.... i feel things are not going smoothly as i thought.... as i planned.... I'm blur... I'm dumb-founded... i realized i'm that weak.... i realized i'm not the strong girl i used to me.....

But quickly, i calmed myself... regain my composure...And then, i got into my car... and my mom called me... suddenly, my tears lingered down my cheeks again....... i cried again... i complained to my mom... my mom assured me... consoled me... she said she will pay for the new ones.... But i still cried... i told her is not bout the money.... i cried because i don't know what is going on.... why someone can just stole something between 15 minutes????

My mom asked my brother to talk to me... though my brother is younger than me 3 years, but most of the time, he is like my older brother....

So, i went out and bought new lingerie..... in JUSCO... where else can i go in Ipoh??? and i can't get my size.....

OMG... life couldn't get any worse...

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