This journey is incredibly humbling for me.

From being wounded and not knowing which way is up and wondering whether or not i could be ALIVE or not and at the same time, finding new MEANING in my new life in this FOREIGN place.....It's been an AMAZING journey

I am a daughter, sister, dog-owner and friend.

Currently, i am learning to train my mind and body. I want to hold my body, challenge my physical ability to a level i could never imagine.

I definitely have learn to stop letting these people who do so little for me in my life but control so much of my mind, feeling and emotions.

Learning to let them go from my life is definitely one of the best achievement i ever done to myself.

Goodbye my friends.... Hope when we meet again, we are once strangers again.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

A letter from Kingkong

I found this poem from Dogster, a forum for dog lover…..

When i read it, i thought as though Kingkong is telling me something….

Hi Shiau Lee jie jie,

If it should be that I grow weak,
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
Don't let your grief control your hand,
For this day more than all the rest,
Your love for me must stand the test.
We've had so many happy years,
What is to come can hold no fears,
You'd not want me to suffer so,
The time has come, please let me go.
Take me where my needs they'll tend,
And please stay with me until the end,
Hold me firm & speak to me,
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time that you will see,
The kindness that you do for me,
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.
Please do not grieve it must be you,
Who has this painful thing to do,
We've been so close for all these years,
Don't let your heart hold back your tears.

Love, Kingkong….

Thursday, December 1, 2011

King Kong – My brother, my friend, my companion…..

Today, my 16 years old Mongrel can barely stand up, can barely sniff me, can barely bark at me.  I know he is in pain. But it doesn't stop him from wagging his tail every single time i came home....
 Xiao Xiao...

Dear Kingkong,

i know that you are not well now….But I don’t know whether are you in pain now… However, you never show you are in pain. Your eyes told me you want to sleep all the time…..

Every morning, i whistled for you and you no longer come to me…

Every night, i called you name and you no longer run towards me…

I know you are weak now, but i believe you are also strong as well…

I spoke to myself that i would let you go…. But my heart told me is not up to me whether to let you go…. Is up to you…

I’m so happy to see you ran to the postman today. I’m happy to hear you bark…. Although is not strong as before, but i can hear the bark of bravery. From that time onwards, i know you are not ready to let go…

For the past four months, i no longer see you ran to the backdoor as you always did because you want to send me off to school…. I knew there is something wrong already.

But, I'm glad till today, you were waiting for me to come home even though you were just lying on the floor while you wagged your tail. I love it when you did that.

My heart ache when i change your diapers because i can see how all the blood oozing out from your wound. My heart ache when i did not hear a wimp from you. You are such a strong boy….

Therefore, I'm glad i came back to KL despite i suffer so much at work. There is nothing more important than being by your side till i hear your last breath….


I'll stay by your side till you ready to let go. Let’s be strong together. I promise you that i would stop letting you see my tears because i knew you will tear too…

I love you, Kingkong….

Your sis, your companion
Shiau Lee