This journey is incredibly humbling for me.

From being wounded and not knowing which way is up and wondering whether or not i could be ALIVE or not and at the same time, finding new MEANING in my new life in this FOREIGN place.....It's been an AMAZING journey

I am a daughter, sister, dog-owner and friend.

Currently, i am learning to train my mind and body. I want to hold my body, challenge my physical ability to a level i could never imagine.

I definitely have learn to stop letting these people who do so little for me in my life but control so much of my mind, feeling and emotions.

Learning to let them go from my life is definitely one of the best achievement i ever done to myself.

Goodbye my friends.... Hope when we meet again, we are once strangers again.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Because he is my daddy.

This morning, i look at the clock.

Is already 10.10 am.

I’m sure my dad is awake because that’s the time he will walk Kingkong. Is his daily routine. Or in fact, is Kingkong’s daily routine. Even though my dad is not around, Kingkong will not let go anybody in the house if his routine is not complete on the day itself.


Since i left PJ, my dad is the person that take of Kingkong. I’m sure Kingkong is more affection towards dad than me. However, he deserves it.

Because he is my daddy.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Reality sets in between poverty and love

Last Saturday, i had a wonderful Hong Kong style breakfast with my aunts and uncle at Yoke Fook Moon, that is yum cha and dim sum.

Once we stepped out from the restaurant, i saw this uncle. Usually, he won’t attract my attention, but today i can’t help it but looks at him as though he is from outer space. Is the dog, who sleeps soundly between his legs. Although i do not understand what he wrote in Chinese, but I'm sure he meant about his poverty and needs help from us financially. Although i don’t know this uncle’s story, but beggars in Malaysia are corporation now. They formed a group of disabled people, put them  in worst clothing and spoke the ‘plea’ language. And these people wanders around the places at peak time. The best thing is they will be on in sight at peak hours, usually non-peak hour, you won’t see them.


This picture shown that reality if poverty can set in between love between the dog and uncle. While i see as double sadness as outsiders.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Grumble of a Malaysia Government Servant Part 2

When i joined the physiotherapy college under the Ministry of Health, I met a few bunch of good lecturers which produced good students. These good lecturers are strict enough to be good. I believe in producing good foundation in each field. And if the foundation in these students are not strong, there goes their future and also the future of Physiotherapy in Malaysia, particularly public services.
However, during the years of studying in these college, i realized things are not so direct and clean as usual. You just need to play some political games, you can cruise your way into graduation hat with a blink. Some students are not producing well and doesn’t even know their anatomy right, can still pass their exam and graduate as physiotherapists. Can you imagine yourself seem by a physiotherapist who still think your Humerus bone is your Femur bone? You wouldn’t want that…
I vented out my frustration to a friend, and she told it can’t be control. Every time the school want to sack a low-graded student out, some-above will keep them stated it will be waste of money if you sack them out after Government supported them for 3 years.
And she is right, i have no control over it. And why would get so frustrated over it? I talked to few of my seniors at work place, and they told me they have been, done that and nothing will happened. And the ultimate advice they left me, just get over it, SL!!!
So, what happened when these students was chosen by people who are not in physiotherapy field? They ended up changing their hand phones every semester. And the end, patients suffered because they come to hospital for lousy services because these students were not given proper foundation. We may not be saving lives, but do not forget Physiotherapist are creating a new life for some people out there.
P/S: I am writing this post not because I'm against the government, I'm just venting out as a therapy for my burnt-out syndrome after 4 years a non-productive government servant.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Grumble of a Malaysia Government Servant Part 1

I have enough as Malaysian Government Servant!!!

After working for four years as a physiotherapist in small city’s general hospital, I think i have the right to lament all the frustrations i suffered and endured in the public healthcare service.
And also is about time for me to voice out my right as the only Chinese physiotherapist in the general hospital of this city, which has a majority numbers of Chinese are residing in this peaceful and wonderful city. Although i got to admit this city is no good for people like me who are looking forward to self-improvement and advancing my career.
My desire to voice out my frustration grows stronger when i received this email from my senior, who i believed experienced the same amount of frustrations, in fact i believe more than me as he was in this industry before I'm born…\

The time of the letter is….

Particularly No Hope for the Malaysian Chinese - A Letter from a Chinese Malaysian Resident in USA

A Malaysian speaks up.... 

I am a female Chinese Malaysian, living in the Washington DC area in the United States . I have read many of the letters that often talk about foreign countries when the writers have no real knowledge of actually living in those countries.
Many draw conclusions about what those countries are like after hearing from someone else or by reading and hearing about them in the media or after four years in a college town in those countries. 

I finished STPM with outstanding results from the prestigious St George's Girls School in Penang . Did I get a university place from the Malaysian government? Nothing.. With near perfect scores, I had nothing, while my Malay friends were getting offers to go overseas. 
Even those with 2As got into university. I was so depressed. I was my parent's last hope for getting the family out of poverty and at 18, I thought I had failed my parents.

Today, I understand it was the Malaysian Government that had failed me and my family because of its discriminatory policies.

Fortunately, I did not give up and immediately did research at the Malaysian American Commission on Education Exchange (MACEE) to find a university in the US that would accept me and provide all the finances. My family and friends thought I was crazy, being the youngest of nine children of a very poor carpenter. 
Anything that required a fee was out of our reach.

Based on merit and my extracurricular activities of community service in secondary school, I received full tuition scholarship, work study, and grants to cover the four years at a highly competitive US university.

Often, I took 21 credits each semester, 15 credits each term while working 20 hours each week and maintaining a 3.5 CGPA. A couple of semesters, I also received division scholarships and worked as
a TA (teaching assistant) on top of everything else.

For the work study, I worked as a custodian (yes, cleaning toilets), carpet layer, computer lab assistant, grounds keeping, librarian, painter, tour guide, etc. If you understand the US credit system, you will understand this is a heavy load.

Why did I do it? This is because I learnt as a young child from my parents that hard work is an opportunity, to give my best in everything, and to take pride in the work I do. I walked away with a double major and a minor with honours but most of all a great lesson in humility and a great respect for those who are forced to labour in so-called `blue collar' positions.

Those of you who think you know all about Australia , US, or the West, think again. Unless you have really lived in these countries, i.e. paid a mortgage, paid taxes, taken part in elections, you do not understand the level of commitment and hard work it takes to be successful in these countries, not just for immigrants but for people who have lived here for generations.

These people are where they are today because of hard work. (Of course, I am not saying everyone in the US is hardworking... There is always the lazy lot minority..)
 that lives off of someone else's hard work. Fortunately, 
every single person, anywhere, should have the opportunity to succeed if they want to put in the effort and be accountable for their own actions. In the end, they should be able to reap what they sow.
It is bearable that opportunities are limited depending on how well-off financially one's family is but when higher education opportunities are race-based, like it is in Malaysia, it is downright cruel for those who see education as the only way out of poverty.

If you want to say discrimination is here in the US , yes, of course it is.  Can you name a country where it doesn't happen? But let me tell you one thing - if you go looking for it, you will find it.

But in Malaysia , you don't have to go look for it because it seeks you out, slaps you in your face every which way you turn, and is sanctioned by law!
Here in the US , my children have the same opportunity to go to school and learn just like their black, white, and immigrant friends. At school, they eat the same food, play the same games, are taught the same classes and when they are 18, they will still have the same opportunities. Would I want to bring my children back to Malaysia ?
So they can suffer the state-sanctioned discrimination as the non-Malays have had for over 50 years?

The injustice the non-Malay have to suffer in frightening silence is the most damaging problem one has to face throughout one's life. You just have to look at the mighty government structures which completely favours only one race, the UMNO Malay.
The Chinese and Indians are treated no better than the illegal Indonesians.

Racism and corruption are openly practiced by the Malay politicians everywhere, Courts, schools/Uni, police, govt offices, contracts, GLC, NEP, ISA, local govt.

It's so powerful and intimidating that you walk with fear and keep your mouth shut on anything and everything political.

Religion is taboo unless you talk good about Islam.

As for being a slave in the foreign country, I am a happy 'slave' earning a good income as an IT project manager.
I work five days a week; can talk bad about the president when I want to; argue about politics, race and religion openly; gather with more than 50 friends and family when I want (no permit needed) and I don't worry about the police pulling me over because they say I ran the light when I didn't.
Have we seen the light at the end of the tunnel yet (Anwar Ibrahim)?

Or is it the head light of an oncoming Umno train ?

Lets hope its the former for the sake of all fair-minded Malaysians.

The dream of a Malaysian 'race' in the future is nowhere in sight with the present BN govt.

Where is Negara-Ku???