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This journey is incredibly humbling for me.

From being wounded and not knowing which way is up and wondering whether or not i could be ALIVE or not and at the same time, finding new MEANING in my new life in this FOREIGN place.....It's been an AMAZING journey

I am a daughter, sister, dog-owner and friend.

Currently, i am learning to train my mind and body. I want to hold my body, challenge my physical ability to a level i could never imagine.

I definitely have learn to stop letting these people who do so little for me in my life but control so much of my mind, feeling and emotions.

Learning to let them go from my life is definitely one of the best achievement i ever done to myself.

Goodbye my friends.... Hope when we meet again, we are once strangers again.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

My first essay marked........

Walauweh.... after 1 1/2 years since i left school.... i suddenly feel like i don't know how to write a proper academic writing....... what is worst is when i got back my writing my writing has much more foreign notes on it...... it seems the number of words in the comment by my tutor is much much much more than my 500-words essay.......

What was the feeling lingering in me when i was doing this writing on Saturday night and Sunday night????

Oooooo... it was this.....


And i was also thinking plagiarism...... i thought as long i reference the person and i cited the article..... means i didn't plagiarized anybody works... right... means i aknowlegde the person who structured the words...... OH MY GOD..... WHEN I RECEIVED THE COMMENT FROM MY MODULE LEADER... THAT LENG CHAI PT TOLD......


"YOU are Rooooo... Bishhhhh..... (OK ....ok.... i make that up)...... That's plagiarsm..... U neeeedddd tooo prodooce yoooouurrsss wurrdss wheeennnn yuuuu reeeddd deee aarrttiiccllleeesss"

Aiyo....... Feel so difficult la.........

but the worst thing is when they told us they have a software that can detect plagiarsm.... TURNITIN....


i thought is tur-ni-tin... and i thought is some kind of website using concoction to make us blur and blur when doing this essay...

Actually, it is Turn-it-in... means... turn it in your damm PLAGRIRISED writings and get it all red highlighted..... kakakaka.... ok... it seems when writing is highlighted with red, it seems like your writing is 75% to 100% plagrirised.... WTF..... Who is that fellow who so damm smart and create this type of software????? you definitely one rich F*****G millionaire.....

So, never mind, when i received my writing... i thought my English got standard enoughla.... sure can get lesser comment.....mana tahu... i got comment like this


  • " Incorrect font type"-------> FONT type also considered error!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  • " Spelling errors" -------> I already spelling checked many many many f******g times already... why do i still have spelling mistake!!!!!!????????? !@#$%^&*()
  • "Grammatical errors" --------> I need help now........

  • " Unclear expression" ---------> Aiyo this leng chai kuai lo doesn't understand what i'm trying to express!!!!!! i just want to tell him he is leng chai!!!!!!


And there is more comments.... till my whole body trembles..... I'm thinking bout my next thesis which is due in 2 months....


At the end.....


i realized already..... after some exaggerate expressions, kiasu-comparing who did better essays with others....


At least is a good thing this leng chai kwai lo PT gave me a good stern and strict comment over my first essay.... and is mark less.... i know my thought is wrong....

  • my thought of me being a good writer is actually bullshit....

  • my thought of I'm a better student is ridiculous....

and the worst thing is...


my thought of MICROSOFT WORD is damm reliable in spell-check.... but that's F****G wrong...... WTF......

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Teesside...... Here i come....

Well, guys..... i'm going to Teesside now.......

Well, more specific, i'm doing a long distance degree under Teesside university........ and for your information..... it is not the reason why i didn't update for so long.... The reason is i'm damm ******** lazy to think what to write.... and i have writer's block!!!!!!!!
Ok..... is not i'm Rowling that depends on my words to put food on my table.... but writing is always sometimes i want to do but i'm lousy at it.... but at the end i still do it shamelessly....
well, i think for the coming 18 months, i'll be very busy..... assignments, reading articles... appraising articles.... and also presentation.... hmmm...... I'm very very worry if half way through the class, i asked myself...
WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE????
Cause doing degree is what i always wanna do... but a long distance degree... doesn't seem very appealing to me..... but is the best choice as i dun have to quit my job.... and i can upgrade my pathetic diploma to my degree.....
I need INSPIRATION!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

My ride leaving my home behind....

I always wanna wrote bout this....... every time i boarded my bus back to Ipoh after spending my weekend in KL.....

I always tell myself to save money to buy HTC touch pro..... so, i can type down my emotions when i was on a bus leaving my family, my home, my dog, my friends in KL.....

Every time i boarded the bus, i feel a spam of loneliness lingering in my mind.... slowly, the loneliness drained down to my heart...... then, i started to fell sourness in my heart.....

Life has been different since i moved to Ipoh for work.... Ipoh is a simple yet boring town..... Is rather different from Peejay..... Peejay is also a simple town..... but i never feel bored with it.....

Maybe because i have my family and friends there...... Despite how much i hate the environment at home due to some reasons.... somehow, somewhere, i miss Peejay so much......

Despite Ipoh is known for its delicious and varieties of foods, from Chicken Taugeh Noddles, to cheap Salted Chicken.... But, i still miss my dad's delicious braised duck rice......

Everytime i glanced back at my brother car....... i can feel warm tears streaming down my cheeks... out of nowhere.....

But, there is some kind of persistent will i have in my heart to keep and keep on staying in Ipoh... despite how much i miss Peejay and KL........

What is that lingering there???

Thursday, July 10, 2008

20 cents Automatic toilet service at Eye on Malaysia....

Kekekeke..... this is so weird.... it seems i like to share my experience of toilet in Malaysia....

Ever since i receive forward mail on Toilet Restaurant from a friend.... i like to see what Malaysia toilets got to offer... besides, being smelly ..... Being wet .... Being dirty.... What else Malaysia toilets can offer......?????

Well, found one decent one.... though it is still wet, smelly and dirty... but I'm impressed with it.....

This is the entrance..... the one on the left is ladies.... while the the one on the right of course the gents.... While the one in the middle is the cleaner?????

I dun understand... this toilet is automatic.... what the heck is the cleaner do when the toilet can clean itself?????

Initially i thought there is gender different for both toilets... then, i realize I'm wrong.... it is unisex..... u.... u... u... can use the same toilet..... but whether at the same time or not.... i not sure la....


Well, initially i thought it costs RM2 as what it was advertised... then, actually it is only 20 cent for 15 minutes.... but, i used 10 pieces of 20 cent.... it doesn't even wanna 'makan' my 20 cent..... now, there is where the usage of the cleaner... she is the one who will 'makan' my 20 cent and manually 'tekan' some buttons and let me used the toilet.....

This is the technology in Malaysia.... the more u call it automatic.... the more it will be manually handled..... that's Malaysia culture....

First thing i realised in the toilet is the air cond..... Is not bad.... 20 cent for 15 minutes air cond service in the hot day.... if u can bear with the 'hanyir' smell in the toilet.... why not????

But one thing is really good.... the toilet bowl is clean... Maybe is the auto flush pump system..... While we oooo and ahhh.... over this technology in this toilet.... u can find the same auto flush pump system in every public toilet in Singapore.... even the in the old coffee shop in Geylang Street.....


Well, at least this toilet has few systems tat is automatic....

The hand basin......

Now u see.....


Now you don't....

Is like Chipsmore.....

Well, that's my 20 cents experience with Malaysia's Canggih Automatic Toilet which is manually handled by the kakak cleaner....

Thanks kakak....

Monday, July 7, 2008

Eye on Malaysia with Zai and Carol....

It was a special night........ A night of reunion with two close friends from college.....

I have been missing college life especially when life is so boring Ipoh........ One of the reasons is this bunch of girls.......

So, when Carol find an opportunity to come to Ipoh.... I took a few days off... and also make an arrangement with Zai.... we fooled her... by telling her our Zai can't come from Bukit Tinggi.... Carol did not show any signs of upset... but we know she is disappointed. Thus, when she saw Zai in the computer shop in Low Yat.... she shouted so loudly... and also scolded me... while i know she will attack me physically, i can't wait to run away from her.....

And then, three of us took a ride of 6 rounds on the Eye of Malaysia..... Since it was launched 6 Jan 2007..... we never have the opportunity to take a ride of the famous Ferris wheel.... Ok ok.... at least in KL it is very famous and big...

I always like the Ferris wheel.....

I like to look at the Ferris wheel from an angel of a dwarf....

I like to see the structure ..... the engineer work on the Ferris wheel.... the force connection between each steel in the Ferris wheel.....


And then i like to see the changes in the colour of the Ferris wheel as it wheels........


Looking up from the floor.... i feel like I'm dwarf.... i feel like a child again..... Oooooo.... how i love Ferris wheel..... I wish i can go to all the Ferris wheels in the world....


I also love the view from the Ferris wheel.... when I'm at the top...... i feel like I'm flying..... and who said KL view is not good.... i feel it is amazing...... especially seeing the KLCC from the Eye of Malaysia..... even it was raining..... the KLCC looks so romantic from here....

But i think the best thing is not about view...... is getting together with good friends after long long missing-in-action moment.....


Don't you think so too???




Sunday, June 22, 2008

Dance under the rain.....

Today is a great Sunday.... a much more relax Sunday.... Didn't do much on Sunday morning... except sending my cousin and her friend to Jusco.... Watching Astro..... Suddenly, my Astro can't receive any signal..... and i had to stop my CSI Miami.....

Hmmm.... I looked outside.... it is raining...... but there is no thunder...... i get out from my couch, took my plate and glass, walked towards the sink and washed the dishes....... As i washed the dish, i glanced outside the window...... glancing..... thinking..... flash backing..... looking at the rain water dropping...... drip by drip.... like a fragile diamonds........

I remembered during my years in hostel with Ms. CL, Cik ZK, Ms AK and Ms MB....... when we studies so hard...... and our minds become blurring.....and mental becomes stressed up..... and rain started to come... we will run outside..... and DANCE UNDER THE RAIN.........

I stared so hard at the rain with my thoughts filled with memories back in college and hostel till my aunt's dog, Mimi is staring at me for long....

To tell the truth, i kinda miss college's life........ i bet anybody who is working now, or just after college life......... will miss their college's life..... cause college is a place where u can be an adult and a child at the same...... and a place where u can find your friends, ...... and a place where you can mould yourself.....

i wouldn't miss a thing of it..... and of course..... an act of my favourite moment back in college despite I'm working now..... it is worth.....

which is

......

A dance under the rain.....

Although it looks stupid..... a fat blob is dancing around under the rain... smiling and screaming to herself.... i bet my neighbour is calling 999 now.....

But,the neighbour does not... this moment is a memorable moment.... she is releasing herself..... and also a childhood moment.....

Kicking the rain water alone...... looks stupid but very very nice.... it will be better if Ms. CL, Ms. ZK is around with here....

Even Mimi thinks this girl is an idiot...


Saw the two stacked chairs by the corner.....is where i use self-timer.... i just love it........ self-timer is great for people who are idiotic and crazy.....

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Stupid design in Taman Bahagia LRT station's toilet

Today i'm damm tulan cause got somebody with higher power and post instructed me to clean her ass..... damm f*ck ur own ass.....


Today i came home..... is so nice to be home sweet home after 3 weeks in Ipoh with 2 weekends doing extra time for ICU and CCU...... and also seeing my little King Kong.... and my bed.... oooo... How much i miss my home?????

So, i was on my way back from Ipoh, using Roadways bus, which served direct route from Ipoh to Shah Alam... Along the way, you can stop at Kelana Jaya LRT station......

Then, i took a train ride to Taman Bahagia LRT station, as my brother will fetch me there........ Well, of course, after a 3 hours bus ride, my nature call.... thus, i paid a visit to Taman Bahagia LRT station's wash room.........

Guess what i found..... the Putra LRT is upgrading their toilet.... by adding this rack.....

So, you can put your bag and stuffs when you are doing your business.... you know you needs those hands to do other things...... besides minding your bags.... i hate it when the toilet don't have hanger to hang my bag....

Now that the LRT is so good, they finally design something to facilitate people with lots of bags when they travel up and down like me...... that's so sweet.....

Since this toilet has this rack...... yahoo... i can be happily use both of my hand to ..... when I'm doing my business...
But they didn't realise this design cause so much discomfort to the person who uses this toilet bowl...
The rack so damm fu*cking low, till i took few minutes trying to figure out how to sit on this toilet bowl......
This rack is exactly 75cm from the sit of the toilet bowl and the bars between the rack is 65cms from the rack...... it is half of my height..... and i can't figure out how to put my obese body size below this rack, so, i can sit on this toilet bowl..... and do my business.....

In fact, i hit my head on to the rack several times during the business-making process... first, when i sit on toilet bowl...... 2nd, when i try to position myself properly, 3rd, when i'm getting up from toilet bowl... damm... i even hit my spine....

And this is making me more tulan when i'm doing my business....


CAN ANYONE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THERE IS SUCH INNOVATION????? INNOVATION???? I THINK IS MORE LIKE STUPIDITY....

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Now, i know ur name....

Today, i'm no tulan at all..... and even met a new friend....... his name is H??????????N.... but i'm confused cause that's his car's name too......
Back in school, our teachers scared we forgot our name, they invented name tag.... to tag on our fugly uniform......
Back in work, our boss scared he forgotten our name, so he invented id tag.... so, he can easily instructed us to clean their ass....


Nowadays, someone scare he forgotten his name, so, he named his car after his name.......


i bet even his mom won't forget his name......

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Malaysian Petrol Hiked up to 40%

Today i'm damm tulan cause on the night before the petrol hike up, my petrol tank is near to empty.....

Aiyo.... my petrol is near empty..... i need oil.... i need oil.....

When i reached Mobil in Bercham, i'm stucked in the jam...... the jam of 10 metres from the petrol pump.....

DAmm.... i can't wait for tomorrow cause i'm out petrol....


I can't help but to curse Pak Lah..... for giving me this present after the election... thank goodness i make a right choice.....

But no matter what i curse, the jam will still be jam....

i waited exactly 1 hour and 18 minutes to pump RM 87.15 petrol into my van....

Moral of the story: Make sure you never near-empty your petrol.....

Heard on August will be another hike up.... Bravo Pak lah.... you need more cash to buy another condo in Australia???????

Sunday, June 1, 2008

So Happy Together

My Tulan Scale
I am slightly tulan today cause i worked non-stop for this week...Those over-worked docs out there, if you think physiotherapist is one big fat lousy pig, who only worked 5/7 a week.... and 8am to 5pm..... YOU ARE DAMM F*CKIN WRONG..... i worked 7/7 too.....

Here presenting

So Happy Together

by

The Turtles


I really like this song.... In fact, when i was young, this song was the song we used for one of my kindergarten 'persembahan' during my kindie years....... And i still remember the ugly pleated skirt i wore and i was holding big picture of mangosteen......... OMG.... flashing back of that moment..... is making me feeling embarrassing..... but thinking of it.... is rather funny too..... I'm sure everybody has this moment of memorable but embarrassing situation.....

After years of forgetting those moment of embarrassment, i heard the song again.... playing over AYAMAS advert....

Hmmm... this song can even makes this fugly chicken


.......

.......

.......

looking so delicious in AYAMAS


And then, i you-tubed this MV.... and found this...... Is really damm cute man........

First, you will see this intro....

Then you will see this stick-boy and stick-girl .... well, of course, the drawing not as "chun" as this cute girl's drawing.... but acceptable... click here to pay a visit to Bitter Stick Girl...

Sometimes, you will see good pictures...like this....


And it ends SO HAPPY TOGETHER

Here... that a glance of the video.... and sing-along.....

video

Thanks to Phoenix from Spikedhumor...... From here...

Saturday, May 31, 2008

Is it better to be fat but fit, or unfit but thin?????

I always a fat girl since baby, to teenager, and then during adolescent, i also a fat girl..... Especially during school times, i have this big fat ugly thighs that i need to buy the Sri Aman track bottom size XXL....... I have difficulty to find clothes especially pants.... and of course dresses... In fact, to tell the truth, i never have a dress before.... Hmmmm... except the purple ugly dress (NOW ONLY I THINK IS UGLY!!!!!!!!!!! WHY Miss CL and CIK ZK DIDN'T STOP ME FROM BUYING THAT UGLY DRESS???????), which i never wear..... i never been to party with dresses.... always wear my typical jeans and baby-T........ In fact, i bought my first jeans was with Miss JT and Miss LK, in The Factory Outlet........ I have difficult finding beautiful clothes till now.... Actually is not the design, is the person who where those clothes make it looks ugly....

However, even though i'm fat.... but i do consider myself as fit..... At least i can do 30 sit ups in one minute, 25 push up in one minutes, i can run one round of Polo park non-stop ( FOR ME IS A SUCCESS)...... but still my BMI shown i'm overweight... and worst, according to BMI new scale for Asians, i'm close to OBESE!!!!!!!!! WTF??????????? Which means i'm eligible to join the Obesity Program conducted by ME????

I also don't understand... though i'm also love to watch the idiot box aka TV, but i don't consider myself as couch potatoes...... cause i'm active and i exercise too...... Therefore, i never understand why i'm fat and i can't find a proper swimming suit.....

However, when i read this article, it kinda cool me down........... This article is written by Alice from Go Ask Alice.......

I like the fact it said

"It's important to realize that we are not all meant to be thin."

"People make assumptions that the state of a person's body size or shape predicts whether or not s/he is physically fit. This is not always the case. Just as there are slender people who are in poor shape, there are overweight or obese people who are active and fit. So, is body size or shape a better determinant of good health than physical activity, or vice-versa? This continues to be a controversial topic among health experts.

With this in mind, the Cooper Institute for Aerobics Research in Dallas, Texas studied 25,000 men to see how health is affected by both physical fitness and body shape or size. In terms of life expectancy, the researchers found that the fit, fat men lived as long as the fit, trimmer group. In addition, the out-of-shape, slimmer men were found to have a close to three times greater risk of dying early than the in-shape, fat group. These results appear to show fitness as a more significant factor than fatness.

When figuring out your most appropriate weight range, consider all of the previously mentioned factors, in addition to heredity, family health history, and your own weight history. It's important to realize that we are not all meant to be thin."

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

I love Ipoh's Tau Fu Fa!!!!

My tulan scaleToday i'm a bit tulan cause i was told to do something which is not my work... and at the end, the person is the one that get all the damm fu*king credits.... GTH... A**hole!!!!!

Well, despite how many time i said and told my friend about how much i dislike staying and living in dead town Ipoh, how much i hate to go home after work and yoga alone, how much lonely i felt when my auto gate open and my Kingkong is not there, wagging his tail and greet me....and how much i miss my house back in Peejay.....How much i miss my home till very time i go home and step into my aunt's house without my annoying brother, troublesome sister, caring mama and fatherly daddy there for me..... to greet me.... to ask how is my work today.... to tell me to wash dishes.... to argue over the Astro remote control.... ........ i feel so lonely and sad....

Though I'm just 3 hours away from parents and duck rice...... I felt is like the journey is 3 days away......And for 10 months faraway from home, i guess this is rather a good improvement.... And i do believe the record will continue to be break.....

However, there are something i really like Ipoh.... In fact, these are the small things that put me in sane while staying in Ipoh for the past 10 months...

One of its are

Wong Kee Tau Fu Fa in Bercham


This delicious, smooth and addictive Tau Fu Fa stall is situated are Bercham. The stall is named Meng Kee. The stall is parked right in front of 7-11 of Bercham..... and it is only begins its business at 5.30pm till 11pm..... So, if you wanna have light tea time or supper.... this Tau Fu Fa is recommended.

There will be few tables parked in front of 7-11 for those who wants to have on the spot...

The tau fu fa is so ....so....so....damm.....damm....damm... tasty and delicious.....and is the only stall that i will go daily to have my tau fu fa fix.......In fact, you can smell the traditional charcoal aroma from this stall

Why???? Because they used charcoal to heat up their ginger sugar.....

However, i love my tau fu fa with Melaka sugar....

Hence, i order a bowl for myself....


While i'm enjoying my view...... watching people waiting for their tau fu fa fix in this stall non-stop.... Even, the Indian lady can't resist the tau fu fa, despite don't have place for her to sit.... she sit behind the stall and enjoy her tau fu fa.....


The texture of this Meng Kee Tau fu fa is smooth, soft and slowly it melts into your mouth in no time......The sugar and the tau fu fa is well-blended.... I love the taste of traditional Melaka sugar.... which has a slight special taste if is taken with this tau fu fa....

The feeling is so damm traditional and it felt so right especially when using these traditional China bowl and spoon..... the 'clink and clank' sound when i scooped my tau fu fa from the bowl..... It somehow reminds me of my grandma.... I miss her.....

And the feeling is more ooommmppp.... if you sit using the lower stool, you bend over and take a small sip of this tau fu fa.... Taste the sweetness.... the smoothness.... the softness..... go right into your mouth, pass through your throat and it travels slowly into your stomach...

(Actually, i can see the uncle face is so damm tulan... cause the chair is so uncomfortable for him.... !@#$%^&*)

The feeling so great... after a hard work day from work and yoga, i can feel my fatigues, my body is asking for calories.... i drop by Weng Kee Tau Fu Fa...... took my seat... order a bowl of tau fu fa with Melaka sugar..... While observing people who are there to buy Melaka kuih, economy noodles, breads and biscuit.... and of course tau fu fa....

I didn't know the time has passes..... till i almost finish my bowl of tau fu fa....


I paid .... and walked away.... my tummy feels satisfied with the tau fu fa.....

And i took a glance back to the stall.... Seeing the mother and her daughters, together they helped each other.... It reminds me those days i was helping my dad in my dad's shop.....