Children can be very weird…

We all grown up from that moment…. and we done that… and got smacked for that… and after 20 years, you saw it with your own eyes… you can’t help it but laughed at all those silliness you done… when you were children….

Guess what is the little girl trying to do????

She looked like she is sitting behind the back-seat….

But, now, she is lying on top of the back-seat support…

And then, she just hide behind the back seat… aka booth of the Toyota Avanza…..

I can’t help but laughed cause when i was young that was exactly what i did when my dad was driving the ‘fei po’ 2378 Ford…..  

And when i over-boarded with my dad’s limit… you will hear this

Dad: SIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Suddenly you will hear not even a tiny wimp from any of us… don’t believe, ask Bro Elliott…… He knows better….

In Bukit Tinggi.....

End of September till early of October..... It was a busy month for me....

First week...

J's wedding..... but didn't manage to take pictures..... cause went there alone... and don't know anybody there but the bride is my darling friend... must give face.... So, went there late, and left early....

Second week.....

Drove to KL from Ipoh.... Slept in my newly-furbished room one night.... Woke up at 5am.... Fetched Kim at 6am... and get Jillian at 7am.... Drove all the way to Melaka.... Met Yin, Ajua and Bridezilla at 9am.... Suddenly upgraded myself to instant 'chi mui' for Maggie..... Then, tortured Des's 'Heng Tais'........ Hahahaha..... Then, got ang pow !!!! Yeah!!!!

And then drove to St. Peter's church for a lovely ceremony.... It was my first time church wedding....  I meant a complete one.... I used to attend one but was there half way.....So, this time is really different.... When Maggie and Des walked along the aisle and Father lead the ceremony.... i had a feeling of 'left-behind' for a moment.... I don't know how to express that feeling.... but i do feel touched and blessed to see this wedding....

Third week

Didn't go back KL cause too tired of driving.... Met up with Aunt Sanie and Uncle Frank and also the brats, which Elaine thought those brats are my sons.... Hahahahaha.....

And then, went to Kak Ana's house... for her birthday celebration.... and then, sent my car to service and spent another 120 bucks.... is like supporting another son... so bloody expensive.... And then attended Punitha's wedding...

and then met someone 'new'.... Guess who????

And today, I'm stucked in Bukit Tinggi......for my research course... though is good... cause i ended with some problems with my dissertation proposal...

And not to mentioned... a 'Nothing one' Jamil and 'Something Wrong' Az-male

A new beginning......

I cried again..... and this time, I cried because i am ashamed of myself... i scolded myself who am i to complain that the world is not fair..... who am i to be weak when i have everything with me... who am i to complain that I'm a lonely girl in Ipoh, when my family members care for me so much far away from here... once they know i'm upset, they called me and asked me to be a strong girl....My mom, my brother, my sister...  my friend, Ms. CIL.... everyone care bout me....

Why am i ashamed of myself this time????

I felt so ashamed, i felt like a crying bimbo minus the beautiful.... Who am i to be so weak if compare to Michelle McNally in Black....Michelle is a deaf, blind and mute.... who is striving so hard to earn her bachelor in art in a university despite all her obstacles... under a care of an alcoholic teacher....

Black is an Indian film by Sanjay Leela.... Starring Amitabh Bachchan as Debraj Sahai, the alcoholic teacher.... and Rani Mukerji as Michelle McNally... and is one of the 10 best movies of 2005 from across the world by the prestigious Time magazine....

Gambate!!! Today is a new beginning.... Is not everybody fault if that idiot stole lingerie... and is not your thesis problem too... so, please, wake up and do your thesis now.....

Caution: This film is extremely sentiment (May be Contagious)

I failed today.....

Is been long since I attended to this blog... thanks to my thesis... or should I say thanks to my incompetence... I'm lacking of time to finish my thesis on chronic low back pain...

Today....

Is really a 'shui' day for me...

I feel ashamed of myself.... the day is so 'shui' till i cried so loudly on my own.... I cried.... i cried.... i cried.... non-stop.... till the little boy next door asked her mom whether my mom beat me to death like she beat him yesterday night??????

What happened???????/

This morning i woke up early again...i need to save my time so i can read more research papers, So, i can write a good piece of thesis....

And then i went down and wash my lingerie.... and then put it outside to dry....

As usual, is already 1pm, i need more fuel, so i drove outside to buy some foods.... And within 15 minutes, i drove back home... and you know what i found??? 

MY LINGERIE IS GONE!!!!! SOMEONE BLOODY ASSHOLE STOLE MY LINGERIE!!! THOSE EXPENSIVE ONES I BOUGHT WHEN I WENT TO HATYAI DURING NEW YEAR 2009....

I was so upset till i cried in my car alone... i called my mom but she didn't pick up....

I run upstairs to my room.... stared at me messy table.... my notebook... my studies.... my half-written thesis...

Tears streaming down my cheeks.... my throat shouted sounds i didn't recognize....

I feel like the world is not fair to me.... i feel things are not going smoothly as i thought.... as i planned.... I'm blur... I'm dumb-founded... i realized i'm that weak.... i realized i'm not the strong girl i used to me.....

But quickly, i calmed myself... regain my composure...And then, i got into my car... and my mom called me... suddenly, my tears lingered down my cheeks again....... i cried again... i complained to my mom... my mom assured me... consoled me... she said she will pay for the new ones.... But i still cried... i told her is not bout the money.... i cried because i don't know what is going on.... why someone can just stole something between 15 minutes????

My mom asked my brother to talk to me... though my brother is younger than me 3 years, but most of the time, he is like my older brother....

So, i went out and bought new lingerie..... in JUSCO... where else can i go in Ipoh??? and i can't get my size.....

OMG... life couldn't get any worse...

Is your birthday...

Hi.....

Is your birthday..... But I guess there will be no celebration again for this year... exactly 8 years.....

8 years of no celebration....

8 years of silent wishes...

8 years of tormenting moments....

8 years of torturing memory....

That's my 8 years....

" What's yours????

How are you doing for these past 8 years????

Are you doing well??? "

Sometimes, i wish i succumb into  amnesia so i never have this unanswered thoughts....

Sometimes, i wish i never knew you, so i don't have to this silent wishes linger in my mind.....

Sometimes, i wish i never meet you so i don't have flashbacks of all the tormenting moments we had together....

Sometimes, i wish we never meet so i never have this torturing memory.....

Sometimes, i wish I'm the one who leave first......

Endless...

S. L