This journey is incredibly humbling for me.

From being wounded and not knowing which way is up and wondering whether or not i could be ALIVE or not and at the same time, finding new MEANING in my new life in this FOREIGN place.....It's been an AMAZING journey

I am a daughter, sister, dog-owner and friend.

Currently, i am learning to train my mind and body. I want to hold my body, challenge my physical ability to a level i could never imagine.

I definitely have learn to stop letting these people who do so little for me in my life but control so much of my mind, feeling and emotions.

Learning to let them go from my life is definitely one of the best achievement i ever done to myself.

Goodbye my friends.... Hope when we meet again, we are once strangers again.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

I am the CAUSE......

She insisted me to accompany her to meet her friends....

Out of sudden, She agreed to join the day care centre for a month....

That is why I agreed to join her because I want her to go to the day care centre. I feel even I cannot show my concern, at least I fulfill her request as a support...

I knew her friends; GL and SF, these two friends are her best friend since college times.

Both of them witnessed her transformation. They even witnessed her exorcism. I am grateful they are still so supportive over her but I am sure they are tired of her too as she lied lots during her manic stage.

She claimed she is out from her manic and depress stage now. That is why she wanted to clear things out now.

We met them in SF's house. It was a good choice because I cannot contained my emotions.

She explained to both of them about bipolar and claimed that many of her wrongdoings were during her manic stage.

Wrongdoings included got scammed by some guys. She got cheated RM60k. Lied around about her jobs and lifestyle. Involve in trans in temple.

She said nobody told her that she was in manic stage. Nobody talk to her over it.

She said I used the wrong ways to tell her. And it was not helping her. She said I was not supportive at all.

She said I am the CAUSE of she is not recovering....

My heart ache so much.....

I cried there.

I came back home and cried too..

I cried myself to sleep...

I told good friends. They were trying to help but my heart ache so much, I yet to feel any better....


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