Blaming Game....

I start blaming myself for putting myself into depression.

I blamed myself for bringing my friends into this blaming game as well.

I blame her for not being there for me when I’m having tough time

I blame her for ignoring my messages

I blame her for not anymore messaging me as much as before

I blame her for scolding me without finding out what happened to me.

I even blame my childhood for turning myself into what am I today.

I blame my sister for choosing Jesus and my cousins over me

I blame Jesus for taking away my sister

I blame my cousins for taking away my sister as my playmates.

I blame my attitude for being possessive over friends.

I blame myself for not able to express my anger properly.

I blame myself for starting this blaming game.

Is like a vicious cycle.

So what if I start to blame myself and everybody in this world….

It did not make things better…. It only makes me worsen as a human being.

I want to stop blaming myself but I hardly cannot control this self-torture behaviour.

What should I do from now?