Today is really a bad day for me.
I cried several times. I hardly can control myself. But I also realized even after I cried, I only feel better and relieved for a moment.
Crying is just a way to relieve my symptoms but it still did not solve my problems.
I seriously need to get hold of myself. I am so worry I am losing myself.I am worry I cannot control myself anymore and go into manic attack.
My thoughts are all negative. No matter how hard to push myself to think positively, I hardly can get hold of any positive thoughts.
Although she said tried cognitive behavioral therapy first, but somehow I feel I need medications help now.
Should I or should I not?
This journey is incredibly humbling for me.
From being wounded and not knowing which way is up and wondering whether or not i could be ALIVE or not and at the same time, finding new MEANING in my new life in this FOREIGN place.....It's been an AMAZING journey
I am a daughter, sister, dog-owner and friend.
Currently, i am learning to train my mind and body. I want to hold my body, challenge my physical ability to a level i could never imagine.
I definitely have learn to stop letting these people who do so little for me in my life but control so much of my mind, feeling and emotions.
Learning to let them go from my life is definitely one of the best achievement i ever done to myself.
Goodbye my friends.... Hope when we meet again, we are once strangers again.
Saturday, February 9, 2013
My Thoughts....
Witched by
Xiao Xiao
at
2:33:00 AM
Labels:
Bipolar disorder,
Depression,
Family,
Friends,
Negative Thoughts,
Suicidal
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