Letter to the Myself, The depressive one....

Hello myself,

I think is about time i sent you this mail and as a reminder you some of the thoughts that you are going through now. i hope this letter will be a wake up notice to you if you ever succumb into another depression moment again, is not that i am cursing you but you never know what will happened to you in future, just like what happened to you now. Nobody would have guess you, the jovial and positive minded Xiao Xiao, diagnosed with moderate depression. Worse, the people you are hoping for support, left you there alone....

Do not worry Xiao Xiao, take your time to build your strength. One day, you will be stronger than today.

I know you are going through hard times. Your name is not up in the interview list for promotion. Your boss makes you her scapegoat. The administrator thinks you are nobody during meeting. Your specialist is giving you hard times. Your patient's progression is very slow. You are diagnosed with moderate depression. You need medication to make yourself sleep. Your friends stepped away from you because of your moods. They think you are contagious. Your sister is bipolar sufferer. You have bad childhood. Your sister push you away when you wanted to be with her. You become insecure and perceived things wrongly. You are losing yourself. You miss your old self.

Most of the times, you feel the life is crashing down on you, choking you, trashing you, and stabbing your heart. Then it buries you in the deep rubble and debris of life. Then left you there hanging here alone at the brink of break down.

I know it hurts!!!!

Who are You to Them???

Dear Xiao xiao,

I am the other half yours.....

Why are you making yourself so pathetic, desperate and annoying?

Why are u torturing yourself with all this unnecessary emotional torture?

Why are feeling jealous over the bond they created?

Of course u are the one defeated.

You lost the closeness to one of them.

You are not anymore one of their center of attention.

You are no longer the person one of them depend on...

So, is ok if u bail one of them out.

Although you feel sad and disappointed with yourself because you no longer the interesting person and you are no longer in their priority list.

Xiao xiao,  is ok....

Take your time....

You can let them go...

They do not take you as priority, you also need to let them go. Do not prioritize them anymore.

I know you cannot do not prioritize anymore because you take of them as your sister already.

The sister you never have.

I know if you want to let go, you want to let go completely, the same way you did to her.

I know you will do that to protect yourself from getting hurt again.

But Xiao Xiao, one of them is not your sister.

They never say so...

Think about it slowly Xiao Xiao....

If you hang in to it, at least there is friendship.

If you let go, you will lost all of them.

After all, who are you to them?

Yours other half Xiao Xiao....